yes hello this is your pilot speaking and by pilot i mean i read a wikihow on flying a plane once so i guess ill just have to WING it haha just a little pilot humor okie dokie nothing to worry about folks im sure i can figure this out
so me and my dad are watching a documentary about a man that killed his children and the presenter turned to the camera and said ‘how could anyone ever think about killing their child’ and my dad sat there looking straight at the tv and said ‘trust me its not difficult’ he then looked at me and sighed
i know what you’re going through i read the perks of being a wallflower
"you can totally tell your hair is dyed because of your eyebrows"
oh no. what will i do now. people know. it’s too late. people can tell that i have dyed my hair. my eyebrows have given me away. i must flee. there isn’t any time to pack. i’ll leave under cover of the night
No dude, I swear powder blue is my natural hair color lol
I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes
Babies have no concept of object permanence
That’s one of the sickest burns I’ve ever read.
the world is NOT a beautiful place
there is a fish that swims up urethras, anglerfish males dissolve their own face and turn into a gonad in order to reproduce, and there is a bug that drills his dick into the female because they don’t have vaginas
the world is a horrifying place